Week 25

I cannot believe that it's already time to post another update! Ethan's activity level has picked up dramatically in the past week. He still remains the most active in the early evenings, but I've been noticing more and more movement throughout the days this week as well. And I finally saw my stomach move on its own. Let me tell you, that was one of the weirdest things I've seen. I looked down, and all of a sudden either his arm or leg gave me a solid punch and I saw the limb hit and push out my stomach. I felt like I belonged in an alien movie and promptly snuggled into a blanket so I wouldn't see anything further. I love feeling him move around (craziness, considering how fearful I was of that before this whole process started!) but I'm not ready to watch all of his antics just yet. Maybe I'll get there...but I'm definitely not there yet!

If I'm being perfectly honest here, this week has been filled with a lot of self doubt. I've just been thinking a lot about how much goes into being a good parent, and wondering if I'll ever be up to the task. I'm so scared to be expecting a little boy, because I have no experience with boys and no idea what he'll need. I want so badly to be a good mother, and there have been so many comments made in recent weeks (and I know that nothing has been meant by any of these, I just have a tendancy to take everything to heart) that have caused me to doubt a lot of the decisions we have been making. For example, we have a bumper for the crib (and I ensured that it has all of the required safety ties, etc.) but I've been told to take it back because it could be bad for the baby. My mother is in shock that we are going to use pacifiers for the first couple of months (my research all says that this helps reduce the risk of SIDS) and sippy cups (evidently she taught us to use adult cups right away and doesn't understand the need for a child to carry a drink around with them) so those are both decisions that I know aren't being looked at favorably. At Easter a comment was made about clothing and how shirts with collars look silly on babies, and I came home to look in Ethan's closet and saw how many of the outfits I have for him have collars on the shirts. None of this is make or break stuff, but in total it's all getting to me and really causing me to wonder if I have a clue in the world what I'm getting myself into. And this is all just little stuff...what happens when we're talking about big decisions?! I know you cannot ever be truly ready to be a parent, but I'm really starting to wonder if the hospital will even let me leave with this baby once he's born.

That's another thing - I'm starting to really stress about having to actually give birth now too. When we first found out that we were expecting, I knew that this would have to happen but it seemed so far off that I tried not to think about it. Now that the day is quickly approaching (we are right at 100 days until our due date!) I'm starting to get really scared. I don't know how I'm going to get through this. I'm kind of a wimp and Patrick's best advice thus far is that we'll just power through. I need a plan (and preferably a doctor to knock me out and wake me up the next day to tell me that it's all over!)

Anyway, other than my stress meter returning (I've been totally relaxed throughout the majority of this pregnancy) everything has been going pretty well. I've been spending a lot of time reading in the sun on our patio in the afternoons (gotta love those 85 degree days!) and I cannot wait for the pool to open soon. I have several maternity swimsuits that my friends have been kind enough to donate to my cause (and let me tell you, I have the best friends in the world because they have totally hooked me up with a fabulous maternity wardrobe!) so I think that I'll be brave enough to waddle over there during the days when the pool is relatively quiet.

I have to get Patrick to take a picture of me for this week's update, so this will be one of those weeks where the pictures come later (sorry!) In nursery related news, the curtain valences arrived this week and they are ADORABLE! I love the pattern we ended up picking out (which oddly enough wasn't one that either of us looked at initially) and the curtains might be my favorite part of the nursery set. I think we finally agreed on the shade of blue that we're going to paint the nursery, so that will be our project this week. I will definitely take some pictures of the before and after to post. Oh, and we ordered some artwork from Ebay that arrived this week as well. There's a site where they'll send you prints to match your nursery pattern so now I need to find some cute frames for his elephant artwork. It feels like we haven't done much to prepare the nursery yet, but all the pieces are slowly starting to come together. I'll be taking pictures as we make progress!

Here's the official update for the week: "Head to heels, your baby now measures 13 1/2 inches. His weight - a pound and a half - isn't much more than an average rutabaga, but he's beginning to exchange his long, lean look for some baby fat. As he does, his wrinkled skin will begin to smooth out and he'll start to look more and more like a newborn. He's also growing more hair - and if you could see it you would now be able to discern its color and texture."

And in non-baby related news, my Duke Blue Devils are once again NATIONAL CHAMPIONS!!! It was a super exciting game (I thought it would send me into pre-term labor I was so nervous) and they ended up pulling off a 2 point victory. Here are just a couple of pics from the Duke game we attended last year (pre-pregnancy, in case you couldn't tell!) I'll have to tell Ethan that I missed seeing this year's national championship team in action since the one game to which we received tickets to attend at Cameron was really early on in the pregnancy and I was too nauseous to endure the 2 hour car ride. Hopefully next year we'll get tickets again (they are hard to come by if you're not an alum which unfortunately I am not) because it really is something special to see this team in action on their home court. It is a great day to be a Blue Devil fan (especially living in the land of obnoxious Carolina fans!) And on a side note, it was fantastic to see our adopted team, the WVU Mountaineers, do so well in the tournament. We were pulling for them up until the day they faced Duke (and then our loyalty had to remain with our own team!)

I cannot wait to see the fourth trophy join these!!

The happiest place on earth!