Exciting News!!

So I got some super exciting news this week…New Kids on the Block are launching a summer tour! I am sooooo excited!! (Feel free to insert joke here…I can take it!) For the summer tour they are going to be visiting outdoor concert arenas. The concerts I’ve been to lately have all been in stadiums, so I’m really looking forward to being outside on the lawn again. Their tour is stopping in both Charlotte and Raleigh, so Carolyn and I decided to go in Raleigh this time. This is just so exciting because to be honest, I thought that the show Carolyn and I went to see in the fall was going to be my only opportunity to see them live and in person. To find out that I get to see them again is just the best news ever! (And trust me, good news is much appreciated in this house these days!)

At Christmas Carolyn and I got new NKOTB shirts (from the first concert tour) so we’ll have to decide if we are going to be rocking the new shirts or keeping it old school like we did last time. Of course, our cameras will be with us this time. We learned our lesson – even if it says in BOLD PRINT on the ticket that no cameras are allowed, only dorks like us actually follow the rules.

Patrick thinks that we have officially lost our minds, but June 3 cannot get here fast enough for us. I’m so glad that my sister and I get to once again go and see our favorite group in the whole world perform. If this show is anything like the last one we went to, it is going to be an awesome night! This is the absolute best early 30th birthday present I could ever hope for!!

Check this link out if you want some more info: http://www.people.com/people/article/0,,20268647,00.html

Let the Celebrating Begin!

Rocky does NOT have cancer!!!! Let me say that again - Rocky does not have cancer! We are so excited and cannot believe that he has a very treatable condition!! We just received word this afternoon and of course I immediately burst into tears. This is such an answered prayer. I have been praying so hard for the strength to accept the results of the biopsy and provide Rocky with the love and compassion that he deserves and I think I almost forgot that there was a chance that we could actually get good news. God has truly blessed our family today!

When we picked Rocky up on Monday evening, the vet was convinced that he did have cancer and really brought down our spirits. I understand the need to prepare us for the worst, but I think I let that conversation rob me of any hope that he could actually be okay. The results took so long to receive because after the initial pathology lab ran their tests, they did not find any evidence of cancer. This was not consistent with their initial inclination (with which our vet concurred) so his biopsy was sent to another pathologist for a second opinion. The second opinion confirmed that our little boy does not have cancer!!!!

We still have to treat the tumor and its infection under his tongue, but he has already received an antibiotic and went in for a steroid shot today. The vet will be monitoring his progress to ensure that this growth goes away completely, but we are treating it and he should live a very long and happy life with us. I am so happy, relieved, and grateful that we got this news. I feel like a huge weight has been lifted and I really needed some encouraging news!

Rocky

I can’t even believe this as I am writing this out, but we are once again in need of your prayers. Earlier this week we took our kitten, Rocky, to the vet to be neutered. We had to drop him off at 7:30 am and the vet told us that she would call us to let us know when he was out of surgery and we would be able to pick him up at 5:30 that afternoon. This is a totally routine procedure, so while I was worried about our little man, I didn’t really stress out about the procedure. When the phone rang around lunchtime, I assumed that it meant he was out of surgery and recovering. Nothing could have prepared me for what the vet had to say.

Evidently when they were putting him under, they noticed an abnormality under his tongue. Upon further inspection they determined that it was indeed a tumor and so they called us to get the go ahead to perform a biopsy on the tumor. Everything was immediately sent over to the pathologist for examination and we are anxiously awaiting the official results of the biopsy. Unfortunately, our vet indicated that it is most likely indicative of cancer, and this is an extremely deadly form of cancer in cats. He is very young (9 months to be exact) and our vet has not seen a case of mouth cancer in a cat this young, but she still thinks that is what we are looking at here. We are absolutely devastated and are once again asking for your prayers.

Rocky is extremely active and playful, and has not shown any indication that anything could be wrong. He has not displayed any of the typical symptoms associated with this awful disease, and if I had not seen the pictures of the tumor myself I would think that they diagnosed the wrong cat. Rocky came to us this past November in the middle of a very cold streak. I looked outside and saw this kitten running around with his fur flying in the cold breeze. At first I thought that he belonged to one of our neighbors (he was too cute, was super tiny and just appeared out of nowhere one day) but after he came by a few more times I felt that familiar tug on my heart, and I knew what we were being called to do. Oh, I fought it this time. I remember thinking, God, we already took in 3 cats and we do not have room for another. The tugging on my heart continued. What am I going to do with 4 cats? Nope, not me, ask somebody else. I still felt God calling me to help this kitten. I’ve done my part – it’s somebody else’s turn. The answer was, “No, this is meant for you.” I felt what I was being called to do loud and clear, and so on a freezing November night Patrick and I managed to finally lure this skittish little kitten into our house.

He ran around like crazy, not sure what to make of his new surroundings. At this point, I started to panic, realizing that we had just taken in our fourth cat. I don’t want to have four cats! People already make fun of me for taking in three – what will they think of me now? We had to enlist the help of our neighbor to corral him into our front bedroom, and I distinctly remember saying aloud, “He can stay for one week.”

I didn’t go in to see him much those first couple of days. I did not want to get attached, and I kind of resented his presence in our lives anyway. As the days passed, I went in to take pictures of him so that I could find him a good home. Nope, I was not going to have four cats of my own. We even had a home lined up for him that eventually fell through. As his week and then two passed, I started spending some more time with our visitor and I ended up falling in love. He is the cuddliest cat I have ever met (he crawls in your lap for cuddles, follows behind me when I leave a room, and lets me carry him around like a baby – he has fallen asleep in my arms on more than one occasion!) Patrick had already taken him to the vet for his initial round of shots, and when the time came for his follow up appointment I went too because I felt so protective of my little Rocky. There was a girl who worked there who was looking for a young cat to befriend her existing cat, and I knew that he was ours when I held him close and said that he was our kitty. (We had previously told the vet that we were fostering him and trying to find him a good home.)

I prayed so hard about his situation, and while it might sound strange, I know that God had called us to adopt this kitten. And so we settled into life with our newest addition and when Caddy got so sick it was helpful to have this friendly little face (who loved his big sister so fiercely) with us.

Many of you know that the past 6 – 8 months have been especially trying for us, for a number of different reasons. It’s not really important to know the details, but I have felt things over which I have always had control being ripped away from my tight grasp and it’s been a pretty difficult time. Through it all, I have remained faithful and tried not to question why so many things, in such quick succession, are going wrong in our lives. And now to find out that our beloved baby boy might be facing cancer, it is just too much for me to bear right now. I am completely broken and I am sharing this only to ask that you please pray for God to bless our Rocky. I know that he was brought into our lives specifically and for a reason, but I had no idea that God would be asking us to undertake such a painful journey. I have been holding him close every moment that he is not sleeping (and sometimes even as he sleeps) not sure of how much time we actually have left together. I have watched my husband cry under the weight of it all, and I just feel such an absolute sadness in my heart. There is still a chance (albeit a small chance) that Rocky could not have cancer, or even have it be a treatable form of cancer, so please pray for his health. Please pray that he is comfortable, and continues to not feel any pain, and pray for Patrick and I to have the strength to continue on this journey in the manner to which we have been called. I understand now why he was brought into our lives, and I am so hopeful that he will be with us for many years to come.

One of my favorite baby pictures of Rocky

Random

I was tagged (awhile ago, I might add – sorry, Jen!) to share 25 absolutely random facts about myself. I don’t know if I’m interesting enough to come up with 25 things, but here goes:

1. When I was younger, I spoke fluent German although I lost most of it when we moved back to States. (Kids really can pick up new languages pretty easily!) I keep thinking that one day I’ll take German classes to see if any of it comes back to me, but so far that is still on the “to do” list. (Oh, and I took three years of French in high school – that probably would have been a great time to try to pick up German again!)
2. When I was five I asked Santa to bring me a pink crayon for Christmas. Not a big box of crayons, just a pink one. I remember being so happy when I got my Carnation Pink crayon in a Cross pen box that year. I don’t remember most of the Christmas presents I’ve gotten over the years, but that one holds a special memory.
3. Speaking of special Christmas presents, the best present ever was my Barbie dream house. When I saw it set up in the living room on Christmas morning, I experienced sheer joy and awe at actually owning my very own dream house.
4. When Patrick asked me out for our very first date, I called my mom and told her I did not want to go on this date. When she asked why I told her it was because I thought I could fall for this guy and I so did not want a boyfriend at that time. Now here we are going on three years of marriage – I’m glad I didn’t cancel that date!
5. My favorite food in the world is ice cream (in most flavors.) I think I’ve shared this before, but I am an absolute ice cream junkie. I gave up ice cream for Lent this year and believe me, this is a big sacrifice!
6. I have never smoked or done any kind of illegal drug. Most people don’t believe me when I tell them that I have never so much as tried a cigarette, but it just never appealed to me.
7. My Ipod is full of embarrassing music – tons of 80s, dance music, “hits” like Ricky Martin’s “Livin’ La Vida Loca” or Tiffany’s “I Think We’re Alone Now.” I would probably die of embarrassment if somebody were to publish all of the songs I have on there (although I love them all!)
8. The most fun I have ever had was when my sister and I went to the New Kids on the Block concert together last year. It literally was a dream come true for both of us, and to be able to share that experience together made it even better.
9. When I was younger I wanted to be a veterinarian when I grew up. As I got older I realized that I probably didn’t have the science acumen to be able to actually fulfill that dream, but I am still a huge animal lover and supporter of local animal rescue charities.
10. I was a dancer through high school. I primarily took ballet and pointe, but I stopped dancing once I got to college. If I could choose to have any talent, I would choose dance because I am in awe of professional dancers. (And let’s face it, I have never possessed the kind of talent it takes to dance professionally!)
11. I was a Sigma Kappa in college. We had so much fun, and one of my favorite college memories is from the year I lived on the hall and a group of us would go work out in the morning on Tuesdays and Thursdays and then go get a huge breakfast together before class. I’m still really close with most of those girls too!
12. My biggest dream now is to one day be a mother. A lot of things have happened lately to challenge that dream, but I know that God put that desire in my heart for a reason and I hope that one day it will actually come true.
13. I have random nicknames for my family and friends. I refer to my mother as “Lady” and our cat Caddy as “Bear.” Sometimes there is a logical reason for the nicknames (Lady Elaine is from Mr. Roger’s Neighborhood) and sometimes there is no rhyme or reason whatsoever (like our family dog, Emily, who I called Raoul.) Our kitten Rocky probably has the most nicknames – Baby Love, Rock Star, my little man, Rock ‘n Rolla, Rocky Top, Kid Rock, Rock Rock, baby boy - the list goes on and on! Even my old car was nicknamed Columbo!
14. My biggest fear is drowning. I had a horrific accident when I was little (I fell in the water and my mom finally rescued me when she saw my hair float by and pulled me out by it – no joke!) and I did not learn to swim until middle school. Our class was having an end of the year pool party and the boys kept talking about how they were going to throw the girls in, so I went to the YMCA and taught myself how to paddle so I wouldn’t be humiliated at the party.
15. One of the biggest honors of my life was when my friend Jennifer asked me to be her daughter’s godmother. I take that role very seriously and I am forever grateful that she thought enough of me and of our friendship to ask me to have a role in her beautiful daughter’s life.
16. I am an absolute bookworm, and I have been most of my life. I can devour books in a single sitting, and there have been times where I think I’ll just read one more chapter only to continue on and be shocked that I’ve been awake for hours with a good book. I recently rediscovered the public library, and it has been instrumental in keeping my need for new books satisfied!
17. I’m a complete homebody. I love to travel to visit friends and family, or even for a specific activity, but the idea of traveling just to see a new place hasn’t really ever appealed to me. There are many beautiful places in this world, many that I’m sure I would enjoy seeing, but I just don’t have that need to travel that most of the world does. There might be something wrong with me!
18. I love the theater – I’ve seen two Broadway shows in New York City and countless touring productions. My friends Lindsay and Rebecca both love going to see shows as well, so poor Patrick has not had to endure shows (which he thinks of as torture. I actually think he might enjoy some of them, but he assures me that he would not!)
19. I am part of my neighborhood homeowner’s association welcoming committee. We bake cookies, put together welcome packets, and try to be a friendly face in the community for our new neighbors. Carolyn thinks this is really funny, but it's been a nice way to get out and meet some new people.

20. One accomplishment that I am pretty proud of is that I put myself through school. I had to work and take out student loans (quite a few to finish graduate school I might add!) but when all is said and done I will have paid 100% of the cost of both my undergraduate and graduate school degrees. And, my final student loan payment is going to be made in May of this year. It took me six years to repay it all, but I am super proud of this accomplishment!
21. I have zero hand-eye coordination. It is pretty sad! When we were playing Mario Cart with our next door neighbors, I raced the four year old and afterward Patrick commented that it was nice of me to let the four year old win. I quickly let him know that I didn’t let him win, I am really just that bad at all things that require any sort of hand-eye coordination!
22. If I am ever rich (which is doubtful!) I would love to start a rescue organization for animals. I do all that I can for these neglected animals now, but unfortunately it is just not enough and if I could fund a safe and loving environment for these animals to call home it would be one of the most rewarding things I can think of to do.
23. I like for my socks to be completely color coordinated with my outfit. (Yesterday I had on an aqua sweater and my socks were black and aqua stripes.) I’m not always this good, but I think it makes me feel better to match completely!
24. When I’m having a hard time dealing with a situation, I tend to close myself off and hibernate for awhile. This may not be the healthiest way to deal with a situation, but I seem to follow this pattern whenever things are really hard. (So if I suddenly disappear for awhile, you know something is up!)
25. My greatest joy on a daily basis come from my kitties. They have had some serious health scares (bladder stones for Holly and pancreatitis for Caddy) but I know that God brought them to us because He knew that we would care for them and do everything in our power to help them. Spot, Holly, Caddy & Rocky are the most special blessings that Patrick and I could have ever asked for and they enrich our lives in so many ways. That might sound dorky, but our little feline family means the world to me!

Happy 80th Birthday, Grandma!

This past weekend, my sisters, mom and I drove up to Ohio for a surprise birthday party for my grandmother. Both of my parents are from Ohio and I spent a great deal of time there in my childhood but it has been years since I have been back up there. We're not particularly close to my dad's side of the family (since he was never really all that close to his family when I was growing up), so I believe that I was in high school the last time we made the family trip up to that part of Ohio. I'm really glad that my mom has been able to maintain a relationship with my grandmother (her former mother-in-law) because it was really nice to be able to bring my mom along on the trip.

I drove about two hours to the Virginia border where I met up with my mom and sisters. My mom left her car at a hotel right off the interstate and we drove the rest of the way together. We had a lot of fun, although I must say that our stop for lunch left a little something to be desired. I wish I had copies of the pictures from the trip (right now all I have are the thumbnails so you might not be able to tell) but since my dad is from a super tiny town our trip takes us through pretty much the middle of nowhere. We are sitting on a stoop behind a parking lot splitting a Little Caesar's pizza at one of the very few exits we passed on our journey. It was pretty funny - there were even three children who lived in an apartment above a store right beside our stoop who proceeded to skateboard right behind us (wearing pajama pants and no shirts!) while talking about going to swim in the river later. I wish I knew what town we were in because it would make a great setting for a book!

My dad actually showed up for the party (awkward!) but my sisters and I were polite and asked him some questions about what he's been up to. We weren't sure if he would be there or not, but I thought there might be a chance since this was a party for his mother. (He isn't close to his family at all, so it would not have been that strange if he didn't come.) We haven't seen him in the two years since Bethany's graduation and we haven't really spoken since then either so it was weird. We're all open to having a relationship with him (which considering the things he has done, says a lot) but he makes no attempt to contact us at all. It's just sad to think about going through life without a relationship with your family members. I'm so grateful for my mom and sisters and the close relationship that we all have with each other.

Carolyn, Grandma, me, Bethany

My grandmother was really surprised by the party, and by all of us being there. I'm really glad that we were able to go and even happier that I was able to reconnect with some of my cousins. I think we're going to really try to make an effort to keep in better touch. All in all I'm really glad that we made the trip.

Grandma's bunch - Christopher, Derek, Stephanie, me, Bethany, Carolyn, Julie, Ben (and Julie's 3 kids)

MIA

Okay, so I'll be the first to admit that I have not maintained my resolution of updating this site more frequently this year at all. I apologize for hiding out! Things here haven't been too good lately, and I've been pretty down about it all. Everything is okay, but it's been pretty hard to deal with this situation. When things are bad I tend to hibernate until I'm ready to face the world again, hence I've been missing in action for a little while.

Have you ever had one of those moments at church when you suddenly feel as though the priest (pastor, minister, etc.) is speaking directly to you? Even in a massive crowd this past Saturday night (we've taken to attending church on Saturdays since Patrick works on Sunday mornings) I felt like I was the one for whom the readings and homily were designed. I felt my cheeks flame red as our priest emphasized forgiveness in a way I haven't really thought about before. I know forgiveness is a common theme, but somehow this resonated with the situation currently at hand in a different way. It is so hard when your trust has been betrayed to forgive somebody, but if I am going to be the kind of person I want to be I am going to have to learn to actually live out these lessons. I'm not quite there yet, but I am trying! I'm really glad I was at the service I was this past weekend because it has given me a lot to think about and a renewed perspective on things. (Oh, and for the record, you are never to old to call your mom in tears!)

When I think about all that everybody has going on right now, it feels overwhelming so I am resolving right now to focus on the positive and to try not dwell on hurtful situations. I know that things will get better and until that day there really is so much in my life for which I am grateful. God has truly blessed my life in so many different ways.

So there's my long explanation for my absence and my promise to try to not let things get to me quite this badly again. We'll see how it goes!

Today's Random Thought

So I just got home from the gym and I had the most random thought that I had to share it. Why on earth do gyms (which promote fitness and healthy living) all have tanning beds (that promote skin cancer)?! I have yet to understand the connection between the two. Well, I guess both have to do with appearance to a degree, but it still seems counterintuitive. If I spend an hour doing some cardio and weight training and then go lay in a tanning bed, does all the good I just did get cancelled out by all the bad of the tanning bed? (FYI - my husband made me promise when we got married that I would not use a tanning bed so if for no other reason I don't use them for him.) So there is my random thought of the day!